Today Noah and I were out and about and I ran into an aquaintance that last saw me when I was around 10 weeks pregnant. She first oohed and aahed over Noah and commented on how adorable he was…then she congratulated me on how beautiful and healthy he was. Then she uttered the sentance that has been in my mind ever since…"Boy, you are still really big, you must have gained a lot of weight since I last saw you". Oh my goodness…I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes so I just smiled and said "you know how it is after you have a baby". The woman is from another country, so I know she didn’t mean any harm, but boy did it sure hurt my feelings and make me want to scream "look lady give me a break, he is only 9 weeks old, I had a C section, I have already lost 6 lbs, and I am exercising the best I can with a new baby at home!". Instead though I gave her a hug and said it was lovely to see her and retreated to my car where I could let the tears flow in peace and quiet. As I sat in the car with hurt feelings, red teary eyes, and deflated self confidence, I was wondering why comments like this hurt so bad? I know I am being the best mom I can to Noah, I take good care of him all day, I love my husband, I am a good person,…and I am trying so hard to lose this baby weight but it never seems to come off fast enough….but still, the comment really cut to the heart.
On an up note, I took Noah to Barnes and Noble today and he let me finish reading a book to him! We read about colors and he seemed very interested in looking at the pictures of the book. He really liked the colors. It shows me how very fast he is growing up! We also visited a baby store and I bought him an adorable outfit for the winter….the hood even has little bear ears! So cute!
I am off to feed Noah and get him down for his afternoon nap.
Lesson learned today…think before you say things to people, you never know what will hurt someone else’s feelings.
Rice's World 
August 28, 2007 at 2:47 pm |
oh man we are female, of course those "comments" haunt us as we doubt ourselves, feel heavier than we really are, let it tear into our self confidence, etc etc…just gotta buck up, shake it off, remind ourselves we are wearing the "battle scars" of giving life and birth to our precious children!!! It\’s gonna show for awhile, it too passes, like the every 10 min feedings and unconsolable crying…but in OUR time, not in the time of an acquaintance who doesnt think before they speak!!!! you are DEFINATELY going that direction, and it WILL eventually fall off…especially when Noah gets "mobile" and you play chase all day long :):):)
I love you no matter what the scale says or anybody else for that matter….gotta give it time okey dokey!!!
August 28, 2007 at 6:26 pm |
I just wish I could be there to give you a big hug! You are beautiful!! And you are such a great mother to Noah. He is getting bigger every day and so alert!! I was shocked at the picture of him holding a toy! 🙂 >>>>>SQUEEZE<<<<<< this is me giving you a ginormous cyber hug!!! Some people just don\’t exactly have tact and she probably thought that is just how you talk to new mothers. You responded in such a Christ like way!
I love you and Noah!!!
August 28, 2007 at 6:32 pm |
It sounds like you handled it about as graciously as you could. In some cultures, weight is a sign of wealth and prosperity. So when we were in China and Patterson had just lost all of his weight, there were some people who came up to rub his stomach and thought it was good luck. It is Ok to acknowledge that though she did not mean to insult you or make you feel badly… the comment cut to the heart and touched on something that you are already sensitive about. As you know, your body will never be what it was before baby came, but your identity is not wrapped up in how you look or how much you weigh. You are a beloved daughter of the King and he calls you precious. no matter what the scale says, or what anyone else says for that matter! The weight will come off. Our bodies took 9 months to change, it will take at least 9 months for your body to start going back to "normal". Remember you are nursing a baby and trying to rest as much as you can. That is more important that your weight… I am right there with you, kid!
thinking of you and glad you shared your story…
August 29, 2007 at 11:01 am |
That is horrible! Where we are living now, it seems this is how everyone is raised; they don\’t think twice about making comments like this. The only think we can do is smile and shake it off. Don\’t worry about it girl! Every mother goes through this. It takes 9 months to prepare your\’s and your baby\’s bodies for the transition into this world and it sure isn\’t going to all go back to normal in 10 weeks – if ever! Just pick up that wonderful boy of your\’s – God\’s personal gift to you and Gary – and know that you are perfect in his little eyes. We all love you!